We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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