ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
