youre lurking in front of me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
