she was so not down for the gang bang
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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