Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
