margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
