lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Randomize
