Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize