debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You have to summon your inner elephant
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize