The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Buhtt sex?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
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he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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