doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
