It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
