Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
