I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize