My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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