We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
