oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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