Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
