Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
