And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.