question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.