my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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