Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.

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(214): did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date. http://tfl.nu/9ydt

Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (960)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?

(843): View more from South Carolina

You're upset about this?

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(803): We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF? (843): You're upset about this? http://tfl.nu/f42n

Replies (28) Good night (2808) Bad night (1420)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

(678): View more from Georgia

discrete masterbation is a lost art

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(770): Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk (678): discrete masterbation is a lost art http://tfl.nu/z067

Replies (32) Good night (731) Bad night (2771)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.

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(+44): I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life. http://tfl.nu/7cvo

Replies (21) Good night (8724) Bad night (840)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..

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(978): He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/dgrg

Replies (16) Good night (1795) Bad night (4414)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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(615): It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30 http://tfl.nu/ukox

Replies (15) Good night (6207) Bad night (1635)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.

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(865): Now go wash the fat girl off your hands. http://tfl.nu/sym9

Replies (17) Good night (1171) Bad night (4353)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.

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(660): I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym. http://tfl.nu/tj7a

Replies (7) Good night (3633) Bad night (946)
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(559): View more from California

Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.

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(559):Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination. http://tfl.nu/eipz

Replies (5) Good night (1755) Bad night (703)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?

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(404): Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint? http://tfl.nu/u2ry

Replies (4) Good night (1147) Bad night (390)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

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(612): My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly. http://tfl.nu/orbs

Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (256)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.

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(860): Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's. http://tfl.nu/hm4e

Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (221)
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(770): View more from Georgia

His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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(770): His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis http://tfl.nu/4skm

Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (465)
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(415): View more from California

Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.

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(415): Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time. http://tfl.nu/jw47

Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (268)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

You have a 50 50 chance

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(615): To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again (1-615): You have a 50 50 chance http://tfl.nu/kr8c

Replies (4) Good night (479) Bad night (202)

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