Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
