my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.