Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.