wrigley field is MILF paradise
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?