i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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