Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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