Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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