we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
