They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
