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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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