Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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