you turned your livingroom into a bong?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
