Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
