Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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