Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
