Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so let's talk penis.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
