sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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