I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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