Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
