the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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