i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
