Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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