Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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