would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
