Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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