we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize