I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
