TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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