I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
