You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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