I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
