I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Panties = found
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