But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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