I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
