So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dear god my vagina.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
