Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
