Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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