After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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