so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
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we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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