Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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