i need an iv and a liver transplant
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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